


I've Got You

by tiaylasglass



Series: Buried Alive [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus taking care of Alec, Scared Alec Lightwood, Tears, Worried Magnus Bane, a lot of tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 19:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12175095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiaylasglass/pseuds/tiaylasglass
Summary: Magnus' POV of 'I Don't Want to Die' + Magnus taking care of Alec (with a lot of cuddles and hot chocolate).





	I've Got You

“Damn it!” Magnus shouted, his magic shining brightly as it swooped the vase beside him off the table. It smashed loudly on the ground and caused everyone to jump in shock. Magnus’ chest tightened slightly in panic as he flicked through the pages of his spell book, muttering under his breath as he searched for the spell he needed.   
  
“Magnus?” Everyone was staring warily at him, each of them just as stressed and worried as he was.   
  
“It’s been three days!” He looked up at them with bloodshot eyes. His voice cracked as he slammed the book onto the table. “I should’ve found him by now.”  
  
“You’re doing your best,” Clary said softly. She carefully slid the book from Magnus’ hand and opened it to the page Magnus had been looking for. “Here. Try again.” She held eye contact with him for a few seconds, a small, reassuring smile on her lips. Magnus took a deep breath and nodded, apologising quietly for his anger.  
  
“If this works, the map will burn around wherever Alec is right now. It’s not exact, but we’ll know whether he’s still in New York or not,” he explained to the rest of them. They all gathered by the table, close enough to see but far enough to give him space. Magnus nervously looked up at everyone’s expressions, wincing internally at the poorly veiled hope they held. He didn’t want to let them down like all the other attempts at locating him.   
  
One hand held onto the map and the other rested about ten centimetres above it, his magic burning bright orange as he concentrated on the spell. He spoke in Latin, eyes narrowed as his magic reached out to the corner of the map. Flames engulfed the map and Magnus released it, letting it float in front of them as the paper became smaller and smaller. Then, just as the flames were beginning to fade and what was left of the map fell to the table, Jace grunted in pain and keeled over.  
  
“Jace!” Izzy was the first to his side. She held onto one of his arms, looking worriedly towards Magnus and Clary.   
  
“What’s going on? Is it your bond?” Clary asked. Jace’s face scrunched up in pain as he nodded. Magnus felt nauseous for a moment as he watched Jace bite back a scream.   
  
“Try – try tracking him,” Jace said, blinking back tears. His hands shook as Izzy and Clary helped him stand. He took a few deep breaths.   
  
“He’s hurting?” Magnus already knew the answer but still felt the need to ask.   
  
“He’s so scared,” Jace’s voice shook. “It… it’s overwhelming. Magnus – _track him!_ ” Magnus fumbled slightly before he reached over and picked up one of Alec’s shirts that had been left on the couch the last time he’d been there.  His hands glowed as he concentrated on finding Alec.   
  
The last few times that Magnus had attempted to track Alec this way had failed and he hadn’t even been able to feel anything from him. This time, however, when he reached out he felt something… warm. Something warm and familiar that made his eyes fill with tears because he missed that feeling so unbearably much. “I found him.”  
  
~  
  
“Why the cemetery?” Izzy frowned as they exited the portal Magnus had created. “I don’t understand.”  
  
“Maybe they’re looking for some weapons,” Jace said. His eyes flicked around the burial grounds as he tried to catch the sight of his parabatai – hopefully alive and well, though he knew the unlikeliness of Alec being _well_.   
  
“I hate to suggest this, but is it possible that the reason we tracked him to the cemetery is because he’s de –,”  
  
“ _He’s not_ ,” Jace and Magnus both snapped instantly, turning to glare at Clary. Her eyes widened and she quickly backtracked.   
  
“I’m not saying he is, but –,” this time it was Izzy who cut her off by placing a hand on her arm and silencing her with a shake of her head. Clary frowned slightly before apologising quietly. She didn’t want Alec to be dead as much as anyone else. Despite them not getting along at first, the two had grown a lot closer through late night conversations and trainings. Alec wouldn’t admit it, but they had finally reached the point where they could rely on each other like friends would.   
  
“I would’ve felt it through the bond,” Jace told her. “And Magnus wouldn’t have been able to tracked him if he wasn’t alive.” Clary nodded in understanding.  
  
“This way,” Magnus led them quickly off to the left. They had been running for almost three minutes when Jace tripped, his breath catching in his breath as an overwhelming wave of fear consumed him momentarily.   
  
“Jace!” Clary’s shout pulled all of their attention. The gut wrenching fear only lasted seconds before passing over. With the help of Clary he stood back up, chest heaving as he gasped for breath.   
  
“We need to hurry,” was all he could say. He felt sick, knowing that the fear had come from Alec. Whatever Alec was going through was worse than anything he’d ever experienced and Jace was terrified of what they were going to find.   
  
It wasn’t until they reached the other side of the cemetery that they spotted anyone. Two men, laughing as they shovelled dirt into what looked like a grave. Everyone was confused for a second and it was Magnus who realised what was happening.   
  
“Oh my God,” he gasped, his face paling as he quickly waved his hands, sending a burst of magic towards the men and knocking them to the ground. He sprinted over towards them and could hear the confused shouts of the others behind him before they followed.   
  
The hole was half-filled and Magnus wasted no time in kneeling and hurriedly throwing the dirt out. “No, no, no.” The others seemed to understand what was happening and joined him, using their hands to throw dirt behind them. “Come on,” Magnus’ hands shook violently.  
  
“Raziel,” Izzy breathed out in shock when her hand felt something that wasn’t dirt. “This can't be happening,” she said, tears building in her eyes. They dug faster until they uncovered Alec’s face, their hearts thudding as they silently begged for _Alec to not be dead_.   
  
Magnus quickly brushed the clumps of soil away with trembling fingers as they all stared at the pale, unmoving face. Suddenly, Alec’s eyes burst open and his mouth opened as he tried to breathe in the fresh air. Everyone jumped straight into action, breathing out in relief as Jace and Izzy carefully lifted him out of the makeshift grave and placed him gently onto the ground beside them. They quickly removed the ropes binding his hands and ankles together. They all wiped away at the dirt covering him from head to toe until Magnus noticed Alec’s increasing distress.  
  
“Stop touching him!” Magnus shouted over them and gesturing for them to move away. Jace was about to argue before he saw what Magnus had noticed. Alec’s eyes had closed again, this time tightly as his chest rose unsteadily with each small breath. When they all backed off Magnus spoke again softly. “Open your eyes, Alexander. You’re okay now,” he promised. He held his breath unintentionally until Alec slowly opened his eyes. Tears threatened to fall as he took in the fear in his eyes. Alec wasn’t just scared, he was downright _terrified_ , and that hurt Magnus more than he thought possible.   
  
Alec’s eyes found Magnus’ and it was near silent as a few seconds passed, everyone watching tensely to see what was going to happen. Magnus felt his heart clench as Alec’s eyes stopped searching his and filled with tears. Alec’s hands moved from his sides to Magnus’ shirt as he clutched at it desperately with trembling hands. Magnus leaned forward and helped Alec sit up, letting him bury his head in his chest as he cried. The others watched, tears falling from their own eyes as they heard his pained cries. They couldn’t begin to imagine the pain and fear he was feeling.   
  
When Alec spoke, Magnus felt his heart break into a million pieces. “I couldn’t breathe,” was all Alec could say as he gasped for breath through his sobs. His arms tightened around Alec, needing to feel Alec as much as Alec needed to feel him. He moved a hand to Alec’s head, fingers tangling into his hair as he held him tightly.   
  
“I’ve got you,” he said softly, his voice shaking as he let his tears fall. He closed his eyes, his head lowering to press a kiss into Alec’s hair. He could feel Alec shaking in his arms, both from his sobs and the fear that still hadn’t left him. “Let’s go home.”  
  
~  
  
Jace, Izzy and Clary had all left almost immediately after arriving at Magnus’ loft. As much as they had wanted to stay and be there for Alec, they knew that Alec didn’t wanted to be crowded. “Let us know if anything happens, okay?” Jace had made Magnus promise before they left, eyes lingering on Alec’s silent form before the door closed behind them.   
  
Magnus stood there for a few moments, watching Alec in silence. Alec hadn’t said a word since they’d unburied him at the cemetery. It had taken a while for Alec to let go of Magnus and by then Magnus was sure Alec wasn’t even aware of his surroundings. He wondered if Alec even realised they had left the cemetery. He was broken out of his train of thought when he saw Alec shivering.   
  
“How about a bath?” Magnus suggested. Alec didn’t react straight away, slowly blinking before turning his head to face Magnus. There was still traces of dirt all over Alec and Magnus knew that washing it away would make him – _both_ of them – feel a lot better. Alec nodded slightly. Magnus quickly left to run the bath. When he returned he was certain Alec hadn’t moved a muscle since he left.   
  
“Come on, love,” he helped Alec stand and led him into the bathroom, a hand tight around his waist and another holding Alec’s hand. Alec didn’t react as Magnus unclothed him and lowered him into the warm water. Usually, Alec would’ve relaxed fully into the warmth and blown bubbles at Magnus until they both had white bubbles all through their hair. This time, the playfulness was gone as Alec stared blankly down at the water.   
  
Magnus picked up a flannel and washed the dirt away from Alec’s skin, not saying a word the entire time. Sometimes Alec just wanted to sit in silence, especially after a tough day. And he’d just had three of them. Once all the dirt had been washed away and Alec’s hair smelled of sandalwood, Magnus pulled the plug and wrapped Alec in a warm towel.   
  
“Let’s get you dressed,” Magnus said, leading him into their room. Alec still didn’t react as Magnus dried him and dressed him into a pair of sweatpants and one of Magnus’ larger hoodies, which was even too big for Alec. Alec loved the hoodie and always wore it when he and Magnus were having a lazy evening.   
  
“Alright,” Magnus intertwined his fingers with Alec’s and gently pulled him out of the room and into the living room, onto the couch. He snapped his fingers and summoned two cups of hot chocolate – Alec secretly, and surprisingly, had a major sweet tooth and drunk hot chocolate as if he was breathing in oxygen. He softly coaxed him into sipping at his cup, relaxing when Alec didn’t refuse. For all he knew, Alec hadn’t eaten or drunken anything in those three days. Magnus barely had. He was sure that in this state Alec would refuse food so he had to settle for getting as many fluids into him possible.   
  
Magnus pulled a large fluffy blanket over them and sat closely to Alec, feeling warm as Alec leaned against him. They were both silent as they drank from their mugs. Magnus had no idea how much time had passed, it could have been hours, when he noticed Alec had stopped shaking. At first, he thought Alec had fallen asleep. But when he looked at him he saw that Alec’s eyes, while bloodshot and exhausted, were still open as he stared at a spot on the blanket. Magnus hesitated before deciding to speak up.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. Most people assumed that Alec never shared his problems; that he bottled it all up until he exploded. While this was true to some extent, Alec often talked to Magnus when something was wrong, knowing that Magnus would listen to every word and help him through whatever was going on.   
  
Alec’s eyes flicked up to Magnus’ and he sniffed as he shrugged. “I…” Magnus put their mugs on the table and grabbed both of Alec’s hands with his, using his eyes to encourage him to go on. “I – I couldn’t breathe, Magnus.” He sounded lost as he repeated the words he’d said hours ago. Magnus realised that it wasn’t as simple as that. He wasn’t terrified because he couldn’t breathe. Or, not _just_ because he couldn’t breathe.   
  
“I couldn’t – I couldn’t move. Or breathe. I c-couldn’t –,” Alec’s head dropped, tears leaving shiny tracks over his checks as he revealed how vulnerable he'd felt. Magnus squeezed Alec’s hands. “I was so scared,” he admitted in a whisper, as if ashamed of feeling that way.   
  
“You’re safe now,” Magnus assured him, moving his hands to cup Alec’s cheeks. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs and pressed his forehead against Alec’s. “I’ve got you and I promise, I’m never going to let you go again.” Alec closed his eyes as more tears fell. When he opened them again, he met Magnus’ eyes. “I love you, Alexander.”  
  
“I love you,” Alec repeated, with as much love and emotion as the first time he’d said those three words. Magnus kissed his forehead lovingly before leaning back and pulling Alec to lie beside him. The couch was small but large enough for them to both fit when pressed closely together. Alec’s head rested against Magnus’ shoulder, warm tears dripping onto his shirt. One of his hands held tightly onto Magnus’ and the other held onto Magnus’ shirt. Magnus had one arm wrapped around Alec’s waist.   
  
“I’ve got you,” Magnus whispered again, pressing another kiss into Alec’s hair as they both slowly drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. No matter how tough things were, they knew that they would always there for each other through it all. Magnus wasn’t going to let Alec get lost in his pain; he will always be there for him.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this took so long to write/upload!! i've been swamped with homework and internals for the past few weeks and have only just gotten a bit of a break!! thank you for reading!!!!!


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